My 2017 in One Post

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah nothing happened.
Alright I’m rolling with this intro … 

2017 is wrapping up and I feel this year has passed by pretty fast. To sum it up, for me it was a year of self-discovery. I’ve had massive personality changes throughout this year as well, I guess it’s also called growing up.

Here’s a lesson I learned about marriage. First year it’ll be all lovey-dovey, romantic words and all the cheesy love you can possibly handle. Second year, it’ll be full of arguments and tears. Basically on the verge of splitting up because you’ve finally seen each other’s good and bad habits, this is where patience come in place. By the third year, this storm should’ve passed and now you know your spouse pretty well, his/her likes and dislikes and the habits.

IMG_0006

I’ve got into makeup more which is something completely surprising to people who knew me since I’ve always hated it.

IMG_20170728_152807

Aside from makeup, I’ve revived my old steam account and I got into gaming again. It feels so good to get back, I’ve been playing older games for quite some time.

IMG_20171209_193000

I’ll post more gaming content, that’s for sure. I was thinking to post about a free game I tried every month, should be fun to try different games that are not normally within my usual choice range. My greatest achievement in 2017 was creating a radio show and airing it for three months now. It was definitely a huge step for me out of my comfort zone, I feel very proud that I did it.

Speaking of change, I decided to go back to my original hair color which is dark brown -almost black, it’s been nearly 3 years since I’ve seen my real hair color as I stayed blonde during these years. I also removed some of my piercings and kept my ears looking more simple and less … gothic ? I feel like I’m ready to change myself and return back to the roots when life was less hectic.

change is good

Happy new year everyone ❤

signature

Advertisements

27 Lessons

88156535_350x350

Yesterday was my birthday, honestly sometimes I forget how old am I really. Here’s an embarrassing confession, I sometimes use a calculator to remind myself what’s my age that year. So I’m 27, I would say that I feel quite old but I think compared to my glory early 20s I’m definitely much wiser. That’s why I decided to write 27 lessons I learned during my 27 years on this earth.

  1. You bring your own happiness and sadness. It’s something I learned from my husband, your life is shaped by your own choices and will, so if you want to be happy you’ll find a way to happiness even if life hits you sometimes.
  2. Love isn’t the only thing that function a relationship. I feel I was naive before in the past relationships I had, thinking that love is the most important component in a relationship but it’s not, there’s much more than that.
  3. Hypocrites will forever be around you. They are always around, some are even related to you.
  4. Real friends will talk shit about you .. in front of you not behind you.
  5. Sometimes you got to take a leap of faith when you are confused about your life. At some point, you’ll question everything in your life, like you are going through a mid-life crisis. You just need to go with the flow and take a leap of faith.
  6. You are never too old to do something you like. Age doesn’t define how you should live your life.
  7. Me time is a must. Sometimes you just need to stop time and breath, this is why I think me time is important.
  8. Siblings are the best friends you’ll ever have. We fight, we laugh, we cry, siblings will always be your best friend.
  9. Making friendships after school are almost impossible. I don’t know why but for some reason I stopped trying to befriend some people and just keep them as acquaintances.
  10. What you studied in college/university, doesn’t always end up to be your job. I know it’s hard hearing how you wasted 4 years of your life studying a major and then ending up working on something totally unrelated to that but it happens.
  11. Your grades don’t define how successful you are. I really hate when some people go on a rant that they got straight A’s and they deserve better jobs because of that. Life doesn’t care about your grades … just saying.
  12. Being a parent will change your life. I didn’t really notice this but a lot of people I know are telling me that I’ve changed so much since I became a mother.
  13. Spending money at the beginning of the month and then being broke in the last two weeks. Going to a fancy restaurant with fresh salary in your account then noodles two weeks later.
  14. Keep your life away from social media. With everyone wired to the internet, everyone likes to show off what they are wearing, what they are eating, who are they dating, gifts they received, stuff they bought and I honestly don’t like that. I mean your personal life should be private not for any stranger to start observing.
  15. It’s okay to cry every once in a while. Life gets hard sometimes and believe me crying helps.
  16. Cut off negative people from your life. They depress you and ruin your mood so why keep them in your life ?
  17. At some part of your life, you’ll deal with bullies. I feel like bullies are a special chapter in anyone’s life, you can either learn to deal with them or let it affect the rest of your life.
  18. Love yourself before trying to make someone love you. We compare ourselves to others way too much, we need to realize that we are good enough even if we think we are not.
  19. You’ll understand your parents when you are older. I’ve always thought my parents were hard on me at some points of my life and maybe even hated me but as I grew up I understood what they were thinking when they punished me or treated me in a certain way.
  20. Spoil yourself sometimes. I go with the motto “This makes me happy and deserve to be happy therefore I’m going to buy it”
  21. Go out of your comfort zone. Stepping out of your safe zone to try something totally out of character can help you realize new traits you had but never knew before.
  22. People will use you. People are users, it’s a universal fact and you can’t really avoid them because they sometimes take a form of a friend.
  23. Haters will always be below you. As you progress in life, you’ll have few haters but they are always below you and from what I’ve experienced so far, they are always jealous of you even if they don’t admit it.
  24. Weekends pass in a blink of an eye. It’s depressing but … Weekend slow down please ?
  25. Searching viral trends meaning on urban dictionary. I don’t want to say I feel old but sometimes I have to search what certain terms I read online mean.
  26. Forgetting people’s names. I can’t believe I keep forgetting people names whom I knew few years back
  27. Always be thankful. 

signature

The Motherhood Rant

It’s been awhile since I wrote a proper rant post and since I’m already in my rage mode because one of my co-workers decided to stop talking to me for nearly 3 weeks now for no apparent reason, I’m the kind of person who has quick temper so I’m seriously tempted to throw a stapler to her face just so I give her a reason to stop talking to me like she’s doing now … b*!%$. Anyway so I’ve been thinking about writing this post for awhile of some things people say regarding motherhood that irritates me.

Moms don’t have time to take care of themselves

I’ve always disagreed with this statement, being a mother is exhausting and tiring true but we mothers need an alone time. It’s all about time management, have an hour or two just for yourself to do whatever you want for yourself. Whatever we choose to do in this alone time is our choice, whether I want to take care of myself or just sleep because being sleep deprived is a bonus trait comes with motherhood. Also taking care of ourselves doesn’t necessary mean beautifying alone, it also mean drinking enough water in a day or not forgetting to eat since we are hectic and all over the place from kids.

And let me end my point with this statement, in Arab countries men think we take care of ourselves for them. No, we do it for ourselves not for husbands or guys in general so stop assuming that if I had a new haircut or decided to wear makeup that day just to impress my husband.

Don’t think about your figure since you are a mother now

No no no, I will forever care about my figure. Those sagging sides and boobs will still make me feel insecure about myself. It’s not easy to ignore these imperfections in our bodies and be one of the people who preach body positive rants and pretend to not care, at least for me I think.

I hate it when ladies say “Oh you had your first child you’ll go down hill from now on so no need to bother yourself in trying to lose weight or getting back your former glory body” I honestly can’t just stop bothering in trying to regain my old body, I know I can’t return super skinny or have a model-like body but I can try to lose my baby weight for myself because I feel comfortable seeing my body that way.

Your marriage life will now be loveless

This statement that irritates me the most, I mean I get it babies take most of the time that couples don’t have time to be together as much but it doesn’t mean the feelings between those two will all the sudden fade just because of a baby. Like I said in my first point, it’s all about time management. Couples should have a time to be together, try go on a date while leaving their children with a babysitter or even relatives if possible.

There’re too many ways to show affection, even by talking on bed before sleeping is therapeutic by it’s own. Cuddling from time to time while the baby is sleeping doesn’t take that much time as well so why assume couples all the sudden fall out of love just because they have babies now ?

Okay now that I’ve vented out my thoughts I’ll continue imagining throwing the stapler to my coworkers’s face, I’ll probably throw the printer just in case I missed.

Surviving First Year of Marriage

The forever fight over the blanket whenever you two want to sleep. The bad habits you both have to tolerate with each other. First year of marriage doesn’t go smoothly as your imagination may play in your head, it can start bumpy and will require quite an amount of patience. This post may be a bit oriented to the Muslim community but hopefully somethings would be relatable for newly weds.

I got married on 19th of December 2014 to relative of mine, he is older than me by eight years which made me think much about it. I had my doubts and fears that maybe we aren’t compatible and I should call the whole thing off but part of me wanted to go through this. Most of my fears were residing around our age, and the most recurring question “What if he couldn’t understand me because I’m younger than him ?”

Growing up in a Muslim community, you were probably brought up with the idea that we shouldn’t talk to the opposite sex for some reason and how wrong it was. Of course I don’t agree on that idea because when you do get married it’s like throwing you into water when you don’t know how to swim. All the sudden you would be living with a total stranger and you don’t know how to interact with this person, you don’t know his/her personality or likes and dislikes. While you repeatedly may hear the older family members saying “Love comes after marriage” and I agree with that part but not fully, the way I see it during the engagement it’s all hearts and flowers kind of love but understanding the true love is when you spend more time with this person, seeing the worst part of this person and still be there for them. That’s why I always encourage ladies who are about to get married to keep the engagement period longer so she can get to know this person more and know for sure that she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

First year of marriage is when you really get to know the person you agreed to spend your whole life with. This person would get to see your bare face without makeup, she’ll get to see your true manners at home, he’ll get to see your insecurities and imperfections. Of course the first year is also when disagreements and conflict of opinions starts to show, and arguments would occur from time to time but that’s completely normal because each person has his/her own opinion and you should respect that. Instead of hitting walls of disagreements with no result, always try to find a middle ground between you two.

Let me share few things I learned during my first year of marriage:

  • There’s no winner in an argument. Arguments happen when opinions conflict with each other, and by this stage neither would be right or wrong because it’s only opinions each person wants to voice out.
  • Experience what your partner enjoys. Whether it’s a restaurant, music or even a tv show, try to experience it with your partner because you’ll show them you care about their likes and dislikes and who knows you might like it.
  • Honesty is the key to a healthy relationship. You might’ve read this everywhere on tumblr or twitter but I can assure you, it’s  vital aspect in every relationship. Never hide something because you feel it’s going to hurt them.
  • Try to include their opinion in a decision. When you’re about to make a decision, make sure you ask for their opinion to make them feel included.
  • Don’t force them to change just because you don’t like something about them. Change happens from within a person not forced, if you don’t like a certain habit about them you can talk it out instead of forcing them to change for you.
  • Love doesn’t always mean hugs and kisses. Love takes many forms not through showing affection only, can be simple words showing care or even an advise. Later on, saying I love you would be the same as looking in the person’s eyes and just understand it without saying it.
  • Don’t expect them to be your everything. What I mean by that is your partner shouldn’t be your finance adviser, your therapist, your burden bin to be exact. If you complain too much, they’ll get bored and annoyed by you.
  • Don’t let his/her personality over-shadows yours. Living with a person for awhile may grow some habits in you as your partner but don’t reach a point where your personality is shaping to be like that person, your personality is who you are and in my opinion couples should build each other to the best not wipe the whole character and rewrite it.
  • Gifts are nice from time to time. Who wouldn’t like a simple gift ? Giving each other gifts makes you both appreciative of each other, and when you get them something they like would mean you actually care and listen to this person.
  • Have a ‘me time’. It’s okay to have a separate time away from each other, it helps a lot in fact.
  • Go on dates every week. Make a day solely for your partner and spend it together as a date or even just walking around the neighborhood.

I’m sure there’re plenty of other points I should mention but these are my major lessons I learned during my first year of marriage. How did you survive your first year of marriage ?

Arab Husband Stereotype Guide

I’ve been married for a year and few months now and I don’t consider myself an expert but based on what I noticed and heard from other ladies, Arab men are alot more harder to deal with. I know the common saying that women are complicated but I can say it’s the complete opposite and here’s why:

  • Don’t expect anything romantic after getting married.
    So he swoon you with sweet words and stayed all night talking on the phone during the engagement phase, and you just love to brag to all of your friends that he’s so romantic and treats you like a queen. Well that’s gonna end so fast when you get married and move in together, you’ll slowly realize how a different person he is after seeing all other sides of him.
  • Giving a cold attitude is considered manly.
    For some reason Arab men think they are manly and tough when they don’t show any emotion and just be cold. I don’t understand how that equals manly to be honest.
  • Will try to control you.
    He’ll try to control you like it’s his main task in life, will try to control what you wear, how to walk, how you wear your hijab if you wear one, how you talk with other men, which outfit to wear when you go out, how you’ll cover up and who you hang out with.
  • Will share your interests only during engagement period.
    Like I mentioned in the first point, he’ll share your interests and be romantic only during engagement just to show you he’s interesting in knowing you then later totally go opposite way.
  • Going out shopping groceries is considered a date.
    My idea of a date is a romantic dinner in a fancy place where both can enjoy themselves and forget all life problems, but no if you say you want to go out he’ll take you grocery shopping if you didn’t specify what do you mean by out.
  • Watching football with him is boring but at least you are sitting together.
    Sometimes you’ll get frustrated that you two don’t sit together as before so you’ll find yourself watching football with him just for the company and take a chance of a small talk between goal replays and half time.
  • He’ll flirt with you on rare unexpected moments.
    So you gave up on hearing anything sweet now that you two are married but he’ll surprise you with few flirt lines on such odd moments that it’ll make you freeze in place questioning his sanity.
  • Doesn’t bother wearing a wedding ring.
    Us women get so happy that we are married and so we wear our wedding ring as a trophy to brag with while men will just wear it in the first months then doesn’t bother wearing it ever again.
  • Will expect you to cook.
    The forever stereotype of a wife will haunt you as he’ll expect you to cook for him because women should do that.
  • Dropping hints won’t make him understand what you mean.
    If you want to say something indirectly to him expecting him to understand your hints is a lost cause, I don’t know if he is naturally dense or acting stupid.
  • Gets super moody when hungry or sleepy.
    Beware of men period if he didn’t sleep well at night or he is hungry, he’ll go on full rude attitude the whole day.
  • Hates hearing you complain but it’s okay for him to do that.
    He can’t handle hearing you complain, sometimes he’ll just say it to your face “don’t hurt my head” but when he wants to complain, you gotta listen to him from the beginning to the end.
  • Will ask for your opinion just to allow you to say it but chooses his opinion otherwise.
    He’ll ask you what do think about something just to say “well I asked your opinion” but in the end he’ll still stay on his opinion because he’s always right.
  • You’ll remind him of things while he acts he didn’t forget.
    He hates being wrong so if you remind him of something he forgot, he’ll act like he didn’t forget but only asking you to make sure.
  • You’ll name him Love or Sweetheart on your phone while your name will be just literally your name in his phone and in some cases “the mother of (your child name)”.
    I’m not even gonna explain this, it’s depressing as it is.
  • Will comment on your appearance as a joke.
    Most of us women has insecurities regarding our looks basically our bodies, men however likes to point it out as a joke and makes you think about it more than you should.
  • When you say “I love you” he’ll reply okay.
    Probably feels too proud to actually reply to you but deep inside you know he loves you without even saying it.
  • Fighting over the blanket will become a routine.
    The epic battle of who takes most of the blanket will become a routine with a winner each night.
  • Hates talking about work so don’t ask “how was your day?”.
    He absolutely hates talking about work unless he opens up to you which happens rarely.
  • Won’t ask you to teach him something if he needs help.
    Again with the manly pride, he doesn’t need anyone’s help because he knows everything.
  • It’s okay for him to stay late but if you are still out by 10:30 he’ll turn into your parents and call you like you are on curfew.
    Because he’s a man, it’s completely fine for him to come home late but if you were late, he’ll call you like he became your parents and you’re a teenager again.

Please don’t take this too seriously, I’ve wrote it for humor mainly. I would love to know what do you think.