Types of Visitors … That I Don’t Like

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In the past three weeks, I’ve been quite hectic trying to balance my life with two kids. With a new family addition, comes greetings, gifts and visitors. It’s something I can’t really control, a lot of people came to visit me and of course we are talking about family members, friends even neighbors. I’m grateful don’t get me wrong but there are certain types of visitors that I cannot tolerate.

  • The ones that shows up without a warning
    I absolutely hate it when someone just shows up like that without letting me know, and it happened plenty of times while I was sleeping in my first week after giving birth. I’m really tired and barely sleeping from the baby crying along with the aches that comes after birth from stitches and back aches. I’m supposed to wake up and smile for them when I’m supposed to spend my time resting and healing ?
  • The ones that come at wrong times
    I hate when guests texts you that they are coming at a certain time because that’s convenient for them only not for me, for example couple of guests came early in the morning. I’m supposed to bathe my baby and then feed her so she won’t cry while I go to take a shower and be ready for those guests. Sometimes I can’t be ready on time if my baby wants to feed longer or randomly cries because she needs cuddles and hugs, and that stresses me out.
  • The ones that stay for too long
    I’m already trying to manage my time in dealing with two kids, some guests don’t understand that I cant sit with them for long and it gets awkward when I leave to feed my daughter and they just sit there in the living room apparently waiting for me. Keep your visit short and understand that I can’t be with you for long when I’m needed by my child more.
  • The ones that like to comment about your choice of the baby name
    Mostly older people would do this, they’ll comment about the name you chose for your baby like their opinion is very important. I feel names are more of a personal choice between the parents and others should understand that.
  • The ones that keeps commenting about the baby

    “oh the baby is crying, it must because she’s hungry”
    Thanks for telling me, I didn’t know that

    Those know it all just irritates me, clearly stating the obvious. I know my child has colic, I know she’s crying because she’s either hungry or her diaper is dirty, or her tummy hurts. It may sound silly to others but it does irritates me for some reason.

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Between Blogging, Motherhood and Gaming

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I love blogging, it helps me express my thoughts through words and maybe someone out there would love to read. I felt pretty empty in the past week when I didn’t schedule any post for the blog, it really became part of my life at this point. I’m currently in my 37th week and I’m just exhausted, I’m on the verge on trying any way to induce labor. It’s been quite hectic to find time to blog and this is why I thought of writing this post. I’ve been asked about it a lot to be honest, how do I have the time to balance between blogging, being a mother and gaming.

  • Force a “Me Time”
    It’s a ritual I live by, I have to have my Me Time. Being a mother can be exhausting and naturally you feel all your time and energy is poured into taking care of your children. I plan my Me Time ahead, it usually includes candle lit baths and a resting face mask obviously. If it wasn’t too late, I usually start gaming and try to limit the time so I wouldn’t go to work with my zombie sleep deprived face.
  • List blog topic ideas in notes
    When It comes to blogging, trying to find content that fits the niche of my blog can be a struggle sometimes. I try to mix up posts between motherhood related ones and videogames when I schedule two posts a week. I usually write down the ideas in an app in my phone or open a blank post and save the title in drafts till I get the time to write the content.
  • Plan your gaming time when kids are sleeping or not around
    So when it comes to gaming, I usually start gaming when my son sleeps or he’s out with my husband or in laws. It gives me that window to game without any interruption specially that my son is old enough to sleep through the night. My problem with this though, I sometimes lose track of time when I game at night so I end up sleeping late.
  • Blogging is a venting outlet not a chore
    When it comes to blogging, some bloggers post twice or thrice a week and sometimes the content on these posts sound like they are forced and doesn’t capture the reader’s attention which is why I’m saying I don’t want to make blogging as a chore. I really enjoy it and I feel happy that I was consistent in posting twice a week before. Take it from me, blog when you feel like it and don’t force yourself to do it just because traffic and numbers look attractive to you.
  • Use motherhood moments as an inspiration for future posts
    I’ve been getting emails from ladies saying they appreciate my honesty when it comes to motherhood related posts and it really made me happy. I love using my own experiences and my own mistakes as an inspiration in posts, it gives my entries more of a realistic view about motherhood. No one is perfect, we all learn and grow from those moments we have in life and I enjoy sharing them in my posts to whoever feels or experienced the same.
  • Use your personal view on a game rather than trying to make it sound and look professional
    When I want to post a game related entry, I try to include my own personal feelings because I really don’t want to sound like I’m trying to be a professional IGN reviewer, it also shows how passionate you are. It’s easy to fall in that trap when you start researching about the game and then try to imitate how they wrote the review, this is why I enjoy it more and even if I don’t hit 400 words mark at least I wrote what I thought about the game.

I hope these points help any blogger or mother who’s struggling with balancing life, it’s all about time management. It’s alright to make mistakes, being a mother is overwhelming and I won’t deny it.

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Nursery Rhymes Lyrics Are Weird and Creepy

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I remember my mother singing for me when I was a baby “Baa baa black sheep” and “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary”, those songs resided in me and I found myself as a mother now singing it to my own child. Slowly I started singing those nursery rhymes all the time by myself without no reason and of course it’s contagious so my husband was doing it as well.

The more I listened to those songs, the more I got confused on what the words actually mean, some don’t really make sense such as:

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer’s wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

I decided to research this song and I found out it’s based in English history. The ‘farmer’s wife’ refers to the daughter of King Henry VIII, Queen Mary I whose also known as Bloody Mary. Mary was a very committed Catholic and she forced her beliefs across the country. The ‘three blind mice’ were three noblemen who didn’t agree on her ways so they were convicted of plotting against the Queen but she did not have them dismembered and blinded as inferred in Three blind mice, instead they were burned at the stake. That was an interesting backstory to a children song ? Same as “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary”, it also speaks about her and her violent rulings. You could read more about those two nursery rhymes here.

One of my son’s favorite songs is Skip to My Lou and reading about this song was a journey by itself. The song is a popular American partner-stealing dance from the 1840s.

“Skip to My Lou” is a simple game of stealing partners (or swapping partners as in square dancing). It begins with any number of couples skipping hand in hand around in a ring. A lone boy in the center of the moving circle of couples sings, “Lost my partner, what’ll I do?” as the girls whirl past him. The young man in the center hesitates while he decides which girl to choose, singing, “I’ll get another one just like you.” When he grasps the hand of his chosen one, the latter’s partner moves to the center of the ring the game. It is an ice-breaker, providing an opportunity for the participants to get acquainted with one another and to get into a good mood.

The “lou” in the title comes from the word “loo”, a Scottish word for “love”.

I’m confused, how is this a children’s song ?

Fly in the buttermilk, Shoo, fly, shoo

Is it a farming related song ?

There’s a little red wagon, Paint it blue

Uh why ?

Can’t get a red bird, Jay bird’ll do

…. okay ?

Cat’s in the cream jar, Ooh, ooh, ooh

Also animal abuse ?

It doesn’t really make sense to me how’s the lyrics correlate with each other basically. Maybe I’m reading too much in this but I’m sure some parents thought about this while singing to their children those songs.

I asked a fellow blogger Karalee (Tales of Belle) to chime in with her opinion since she’s a mom as well and here’s her opinion about this:

A lot of nursery rhymes seem to have a darker meaning, so I researched two my daughter likes: Brother John and London Bridge Is Falling Down. I grew up hearing Frère Jacques in French from my mother, and my daughter knows the English version Brother John. She likes singing “are you sleeping”, which made me wonder if there was a deeper meaning. The nursery rhyme is about a friar who overslept and he needs to ring the bells for the morning pray. The origin is believed to be about Frère Jacques Beaulie who was a Dominican friar in France. Other theories believe the nursery rhyme is about taunting Jews, Protestants, and Martin Luther and also mocking Dominican monks in France for their sloth and comfortable lifestyles. Even though the origin theories are not the brightest, the nursery rhyme itself does not have a dark meaning, which is a nice relief. Now for London Bridge Is Falling Down. I played the game while singing London Bridge as a kid and now I play the game with my daughter. The nursery rhyme is about rebuilding the London Bridge and how difficult it was bridging the River Thames. However, the theories about the origin are disturbing. One theory believes the nursery rhyme is about the destruction of the bridge by Olaf II of Norway while another theory believes children were sacrificed and buried in the foundation of the bridge to prevent it from collapsing. Luckily there is no evidence of children being sacrificed, but the thought is terrifying. A more plausible theory is that the nursery rhyme came about when the London Bridge was damaged by fire then eventually rebuilt and replaced. Even though the child sacrifice theory is disturbing, I am glad it is not proven and the nursery rhyme does not have a darker meaning. The lyrics for these two nursery rhymes are straightforward and do not have a dark meaning, but some of the origin theories are rather dark.

I’d love to know your thoughts about this, have you ever questioned the songs you sing for your children while the seemed innocent and pure ?

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Embracing my Tutor Side

A week ago I was having a conversation with Karalee (Tales of Belle) about our children and she mentioned Kindergarden. Now I know I’m all-out protective mom and I will probably (means I will 100%) cry on the day my son would start school, I’m just too attached to him and it feels overwhelming seeing how fast he has grown, I’m not mentally prepared for this.

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Me: So where do we go from here ?
Son: This way
Me: And then ?
Son: Flower
Me: You can’t pass the walls
Son: Bee flies

Yeah, I didn’t expect that smart answer.

Enjoy the outdoors with this fun maze! Be sure to check out Education.com for more learning fun.

Recently I’ve been trying to spend more time with my son before I give birth because I don’t want him to feel left out since all the attention would be shifted to his new sibling. I’ve started reading bedtime stories to my son since he was around 4 months old, of course he wasn’t interested in the stories but he liked the characters and the colors in the storybooks. As he got older he started choosing which book to read on his own, connecting the characters to his favorite nursery rhymes.

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One of the methods I used for teaching my son the basics for example color and shapes, are educational toys and sometimes YouTube videos of his favorite characters. Of course the YouTube way needs to be supervised, you never know if your kid going to end in the dark side.

I feel like most of the things I listed so far are just excuses not to let my child start preschool, to be honest I was contacted by Education.com who provided me with the maze in the first picture and I’ve enjoyed the content and worksheets they listed on their website, and I’m not saying this because they reached out to me. I personally think the material I found on that website are very helpful for children same age as my son and it helped me bond with my son even more.

Exploring my tutor side was very interesting, it sparked creativity and imagination when I trigger his curiosity. It gave our conversation a new direction and it gets hilarious sometimes, my husband and I stare at each other confused when my son says something new every time and we’ve been enjoying it.

Teach your children to never stop exploring

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What They Don’t Tell You About Pregnancy

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Pregnancy is a beautiful journey where you discover your maternal side and all those pretty words they add in every book, article or even cards. I’ve had two pregnancies so far and I’ve experienced different effects in each pregnancy, so I can assure you each pregnancy is different. Along with this bright side of it, the perfect skin and hair obviously there’s a low side as well. Here’s the hard truths about pregnancy and what no one really told me when I got pregnant.

  • Stressing over maternity leave. If you are a working mom, maternity leave will be one of the your main concerns because you’ll be counting the days you’re allowed to have while getting paid or add a month or two unpaid. For example I’ve been counting the days I can take while accumulating my annual leave so I can add it after my maternity leave ends so I would have more time to spend with my kids. The whole matter is stressful on it’s own because it feels like I’m forcing myself to go to work while I’m tired and I need to rest.
  • The gross side. No one really told me about the gross and disgusting stuff that happens during pregnancy. The burping, the hiccups, passing gas and feeling your dignity fading away along with it. I’m afraid it might happen to me in public and I have no way of controlling this, it just happens at weird times unexpected.
  • Everyone likes to tell you about their experience. For some reason every lady wants to tell you about her experience in pregnancy whether it’s good or bad, and if you are a first time mom it might scare you.
  • Nine months is a bit too long. You start counting those nine months in weeks and 40 weeks sound easy to pass by but not really. Because you are waiting for those weeks to pass, it’ll seem much longer than it should be and each week just dragging the next one.
  • Heartburns. I HATE THEM and it sucks that I only get them at night before I sleep or I just suddenly wake up because of a heartburn. They make me miserable and I found out medicines that supposed to help you, don’t really work with me so ice cream became my best friend. They work instantly and helps with heartburns really fast so I always stock my freezer with different flavors so I wouldn’t get bored.

I love having kids, I don’t mind the pain from labor or childbirth because these only lasts at that moment but the whole nine month journey isn’t exactly my favorite chapter.

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Movies I’ve Watched Way too Many Times

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When it comes to movies when you become a parent, you don’t really have that much of a choice. Most of the movies you tend to watch with your kids are mostly going to be animated and they’ll get replayed … way too many times. My son takes over the TV most of the time, sometimes we allow it and sometimes he just turn it on his own. You can’t really underestimate kids of this generation, they already know how to unlock your phone easily. Here’s a list of movies, my son forced me to watch with him way too many times to count but I have to admit that I enjoy the hidden adult humor in each one:

Chicken Little

I’m not sure why my son adores this movie but I was intrigued to see how interested he was in the music used. It has plenty of classics that would be considered too old for millennials but my son memorizes them, building his music taste a bit too early which I don’t mind.

Minions

Those yellow pill shaped creatures became the most lovable characters all the sudden from the movie Despicable Me, they look oddly cute and talk funny. My son discovered this movie from OSN channel and he’s been repeating it over 100 times, obviously took him time to say the word Minions so he used to call this movie Banana.

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Despicable Me

After he got introduced to the minions in the spin-off movie, I made him watch all three parts of the original movie and again he’s been repeating it over and over. Mostly being picky about the second part since the minions are more loud and purple, I mean I enjoy that part the most as well so it’s not all bad.

Cars

I don’t want to be the stereotypical mother and say boys must like cars and girls must like dolls but my son just adores cars, in fact he memorizes the car logos and says who drives that certain car regardless of size or color. Of course he’ll be fascinated about a movie that is all about cars and screams “MOM’S CAR” every time he sees the hippy VW car.

Toy Story

I was so happy to see that he got into this movie because it’s my all time favorite Pixar movie ever since I was young, I enjoy watching it with him. It made him question his toys if they move when he’s not around and he keeps asking me about it, it’s good to feed his tiny imagination.

The Incredibles

I’m surprised he got into this movie, he wasn’t into superhero stuff until he discovered Spiderman. Probably the red in their outfits that got him interested in this movie but he really enjoys it and sometimes imitates their fighting moves … boys will be boys in the end.

Hotel Transylvania

I made him watch the short movie that came out after the second part of Hotel Transylvania which was called Puppy! and since he’s an animal lover like me, that short movie made him love puppies even more. He recently found the full movie on Netflix and he watched it, and then started calling it “Bleh bleh bleh”

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Let me know which movies you’ve watched way too many to counts and what have you been enjoying lately, I’d love to introduce my son to more movies.

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Two Years Later…

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Couple of days ago, I was organizing the categories of older posts when I started this blog back in 2016. I had the time to revisit a lane of memories of my mental health back then, what I went through as a new mom and seeing how I’ve changed from that person to now was very interesting to me. Few posts stood out to me and I thought of reliving them and outline my thoughts now after I overcame some of my hardships.

But there’s something no one really told or warned me about, motherhood is beautiful yet lonely. As much as I had people around me, my family and my dear husband … I still felt lonely and some nights it made me cry. As a new mother, I didn’t know what is this feeling I’m getting and just considered it as baby blues, eventually it’ll somehow be gone. I didn’t want to call myself a bad mother for feeling this way but I still did and got drowned in my own negative thoughts.. Slowly became an expert in depressing myself and labelled me a Failure.

Motherhood is Beautiful Yet Lonely

I’ve always hated judgemental people, I thought I could deal with them but I forgot the most judgemental person of all was me. I’ve fed myself those ideas that I’m a bad mother because of the negative thoughts I’ve been getting and it caused me to create a bubble of isolation which I can assume that I thought would keep me safe but it only made me even more lonely. I was scared to open up about those thoughts because I thought others would judge me harshly just like the way I was doing to myself and that was wrong of me. For awhile I was scared that I would be getting those thoughts again now that I’m pregnant and it’ll be more of a cycle, but I realized it stems from a selfish feeling I had. I was selfish for not opening up about this with my husband whom I consider closest person to me, I was scared he would connect religion to mental health.

I told him about those thoughts I had and he was very supportive, it even got us closer more than before. Admitting my mistakes and talking about it helped me a lot during these two years after having our first child.

Stress can drown me easily because I’m quite an emotional person, I still wonder how my husband is keeping up with me. When my feet get tired from marching back and forth just to ease the baby colic days and I already know how many steps from the beginning to the end of the carpet. There were days when I couldn’t hold the burden of pressure and I just fall apart and cry, I’ve always stopped myself from talking about it to my husband which was a mistake.

The Me Time

I already admit it was a mistake but I went along with it for quite sometime. I think it’s pretty common for new moms to cry along with their babies from stress and all the unknown thrown at them during the first months, also hormones … never been a fan of you.

They keep saying “Your body did an amazing job, you created a new life and it needs time to recover” I feel proud that I tried the whole experience and going through what I called the worst pain ever but I miss my old slim body. I don’t really like the sagging loose skin on my belly and it makes me feel insecure around people at times, I can’t just suck it in and take short breaths just to look slimmer.

Postpartum Woes

Dealing with my body shape was one of the hardest tasks I faced when I became a mother, I wrote a post about it before when I was venting. I’ve been thin almost my entire life and it wasn’t exactly the healthy side of thin, but being with that body shape for a long time makes the process of accepting a new body shape really hard. It took me time to accept it but I can honestly say now I do, I love seeing my face having cheeks and I love seeing actual skin and fat without any bones sticking out.

Throughout these two years, I’ve learned plenty of lessons about motherhood. I could never ask for a better life, I found my purpose in life and I love every moment of being a mother.  I feel blessed having the honor of being called a mom of two …

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