I’m not sure how to label myself at this point of my life. I’ve been the anti-social weirdo the majority of my existence, I’m not sure who to credit or blame for it but it’s just me. Being an introvert is my comfort zone, going to social events gave me anxiety. How many times did you hear someone says those exact words ? I’ve avoided going to weddings, gatherings, even funerals because I can’t handle it. I’ve mentioned it few times, I really can’t handle people for long time. I have my limit, I’ll pretend I have something to do when I reach my quota of “Social-ness”. I’m completely fine with being alone, it’s been part of my personality as long as I remember.
When I got married, I realized I’ll be living with my in laws and that terrified me because I don’t know if they’ll be fine with my personality. For the four years I’ve been living with them, I’ve struggled to fit in. I want to be accepted but it’s really hard doing that when my personality doesn’t really match their’s, it’s sad though because they don’t want to hang out with me or ask me to go out with them. I’m still fine with it, it didn’t really effect me. Is it bad that I’m okay not having any personal relationship with my in laws ? I just have small talks and co-exist in the same house.
Recently, I’ve been trying to better myself, try to be more positive and try to be more social. It’s been great honestly, I’ve discovered new sides of me. I was actually bonding with them which is something I didn’t think I was capable of, I’m not sure if I would consider it a happy period of time because it didn’t last that long. A conflict came up recently and the outcome of it was obviously a defeated shadow of the temporary me. It really blew up on my face and I lost that motive to even try again, I realized after this that I’m only trying to fit in. Forcing myself to fit in would be the right term.
I’m an introvert even if I try to get out from this bubble. I’m more comfortable in that bubble. I’m me in that bubble. I don’t expect anyone to understand it but I always hope of acceptance.
Well it’s been a while since I last posted, I actually forgot how to use WordPress by this point.
On 22nd of September, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Now I can officially call myself a mom of two and be proud of it. I needed to take some time away from blogging and spend less time on social media so I can adapt myself to this new chapter of my life. It was a rather tiring and exhausting experience, and I wouldn’t compare it to my first pregnancy at all. It was hard and I want to say I’m done with having kids but I know I will forget all the pain I went through and say “I miss being pregnant“
We decided to name her the moment she took her first breath after choosing two potential names, seeing her face made the choice easier. I do enjoy buying more pink and girly outfits after getting used to buying for my son for nearly 3 years, should be fun getting those cute dresses later when she’s older.
My son took few days to get used to having a sibling but he’s been very caring and thoughtful with her. I remember going in to the room after getting her bath ready and seeing my son laying next to her and talking to her, it was a very beautiful moment for me to witness.
I’m scheduling ahead few more posts and of course I’m going to insert few gaming ones in between, hopefully get back to my old blog schedule routine if I can.
I’ve been quite hectic preparing for the baby reception, and getting those last things that I need when the baby arrives. Also finalizing my maternity leave starting my 36 week because I’ll need all the rest and energy I can get before I push out the baby out of me. I wanted to post all the stuff I got for the baby reception but it would give away the gender of the baby and I want to keep it a secret till the birthday so I’m planning to post it when I give birth in few weeks from now.
The baby is starting to drop so my due date has shifted from the end of September to mid September and that made me a bit nervous and anxious, I mean I already know what’s coming up on those last weeks but like they say “Every pregnancy is different” and this pregnancy is definitely different than my previous one so I’m not sure what I’m expecting. I hope that the labor and delivery goes smoother than my first pregnancy since now I know more after experiencing it. I think I’m satisfied with being named a Mom of Two and I have no plans currently in expanding my family more for the time being, I’m planning to go back to college and get a higher degree and changing my career completely.
Along with those planned changes, I’ll probably post less in the upcoming weeks and maybe make it one post every week instead of two I guess it depends on how much free time I can get and how long I need in adapting to my life with a new addition to the family. I’ll still reply to emails I get from my blog and probably be more active on Twitter if you’re interested in following me.
Lastly I wanted to thank everyone who keeps reading my blog, I had no idea I would be reaching this amount of followers and interactions, I had no idea I would get those opportunities from various companies and websites so I’m very grateful for that. Thank you all for the continuous support and god bless you all.
I was looking through some of the old photos on my phone and I found these pictures from a trip I had in an earlier period of my marriage. In my country, we have a lot of mountains and I think most tourists come to Oman because of that. One of the famous mountains we have is Jabal Akhdar and it literally mean Green Mountain, it’s such a beautiful place to go for hiking or camping. I thought of sharing these pictures of Jabel Akhdar and our visit to an amazing hotel there called Alila where we had lunch throughout this short one day trip.
Happy Mother’s Day
In my country we celebrate mother’s day on the 21st of March, I know some countries have different dates for this occasion. I wanted to use this day to announce something I’ve been keeping from everyone for awhile now and I thought now it’s the perfect time for that.
I’m almost in my 4th month at the moment and I can’t wait to pass the first trimester, the past weeks were really tiring and it’s been such a challenging time for me. This pregnancy is definitely more different than my previous one, it’s been more tiring and the nausea was making me hate myself. This is why I couldn’t post as much as before, I was dizzy and feeling nauseated for weeks and I kept throwing up from time to time. I’m very excited for this new chapter of my life, upgrade my name from Mom of One to Two.
During these past weeks, I also decided to return to making bracelets. I used make them and sell them on Instagram when I finished college, I made them for fun and people enjoyed that.
Recently I started making them again and it’s making me happy honestly.
My last update is regarding my job, since I’ve been asked on twitter about this I’ll explain it here. I’ve studied software technologies so my career route was fixed in the IT field, and I understand it’s an on-going developed field and something new happens all the time but working in my position for almost 3 years it doesn’t add to my knowledge anything new basically. My job is considered a routine drived one, 8 am to 2:30 pm and go home. I love learning new things, experiencing something out of my comfort zone like what I did few months ago when I produced a show on the radio.
I’ve been offered two jobs in two separate departments in the same firm and I have seriously considered changing my career route completely. I’ve submitted my cv for one of the jobs and now waiting for a reply, I always search for ways to develop myself career-wise and achieve more skills. Because of my pregnancy though, I don’t want to push and try for that job more till I give birth and then I’ll be in my full-focus mode. We’ll see how that goes and hopefully it goes for the best, my sanity needs that honestly.
The turn of a new year usually comes with excitement, sentiment and goals for the upcoming 365 days. Whether you’ve promised to try a new diet, get back into the gym or get out of your comfort zone, the fact of the matter is that sticking to your resolutions can be difficult. It’s safe to say that old habits die hard. I should also confess that I’m bad in keeping my resolutions but what I do know that I want to be better for my own self.
ProFlowers put together a collection of motivational quotes and I chose this one specifically …
I would use this quote in both ways, for myself and to others. I think I’ve been too hard on myself during 2017 as I kept judging myself and calling myself a bad mother because I overthink and it makes me feel guilty that I don’t spend time with my son as much as I want to.
Originally I believed in “Treat people how you want to be treated” but some people aren’t nice like the girl who I work with and Bitch who stole my sister’s stuff. I want to implement the concept of being good to those nasty people that they won’t forget it. As much as this could test my patience, I want to do it.
Any new year resolution to planned out ? Let me know in the comments.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah nothing happened.
Alright I’m rolling with this intro …
2017 is wrapping up and I feel this year has passed by pretty fast. To sum it up, for me it was a year of self-discovery. I’ve had massive personality changes throughout this year as well, I guess it’s also called growing up.
Here’s a lesson I learned about marriage. First year it’ll be all lovey-dovey, romantic words and all the cheesy love you can possibly handle. Second year, it’ll be full of arguments and tears. Basically on the verge of splitting up because you’ve finally seen each other’s good and bad habits, this is where patience come in place. By the third year, this storm should’ve passed and now you know your spouse pretty well, his/her likes and dislikes and the habits.
I’ve got into makeup more which is something completely surprising to people who knew me since I’ve always hated it.
Aside from makeup, I’ve revived my old steam account and I got into gaming again. It feels so good to get back, I’ve been playing older games for quite some time.
I’ll post more gaming content, that’s for sure. I was thinking to post about a free game I tried every month, should be fun to try different games that are not normally within my usual choice range. My greatest achievement in 2017 was creating a radio show and airing it for three months now. It was definitely a huge step for me out of my comfort zone, I feel very proud that I did it.
Speaking of change, I decided to go back to my original hair color which is dark brown -almost black, it’s been nearly 3 years since I’ve seen my real hair color as I stayed blonde during these years. I also removed some of my piercings and kept my ears looking more simple and less … gothic ? I feel like I’m ready to change myself and return back to the roots when life was less hectic.
change is good
Happy new year everyone ❤