I’m not sure how to label myself at this point of my life. I’ve been the anti-social weirdo the majority of my existence, I’m not sure who to credit or blame for it but it’s just me. Being an introvert is my comfort zone, going to social events gave me anxiety. How many times did you hear someone says those exact words ? I’ve avoided going to weddings, gatherings, even funerals because I can’t handle it. I’ve mentioned it few times, I really can’t handle people for long time. I have my limit, I’ll pretend I have something to do when I reach my quota of “Social-ness”. I’m completely fine with being alone, it’s been part of my personality as long as I remember.
When I got married, I realized I’ll be living with my in laws and that terrified me because I don’t know if they’ll be fine with my personality. For the four years I’ve been living with them, I’ve struggled to fit in. I want to be accepted but it’s really hard doing that when my personality doesn’t really match their’s, it’s sad though because they don’t want to hang out with me or ask me to go out with them. I’m still fine with it, it didn’t really effect me. Is it bad that I’m okay not having any personal relationship with my in laws ? I just have small talks and co-exist in the same house.
Recently, I’ve been trying to better myself, try to be more positive and try to be more social. It’s been great honestly, I’ve discovered new sides of me. I was actually bonding with them which is something I didn’t think I was capable of, I’m not sure if I would consider it a happy period of time because it didn’t last that long. A conflict came up recently and the outcome of it was obviously a defeated shadow of the temporary me. It really blew up on my face and I lost that motive to even try again, I realized after this that I’m only trying to fit in. Forcing myself to fit in would be the right term.
I’m an introvert even if I try to get out from this bubble. I’m more comfortable in that bubble. I’m me in that bubble. I don’t expect anyone to understand it but I always hope of acceptance.
You should really focus on what makes you feel comfortable! I was trying so hard to fit in with the other students I live with now and it ended badly for me too, so now I just spend time with two of them because they accept me for who I am.
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that’s definitely my goal from now on, i’m friendly and that’s it i’m not getting more involved
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Don’t forces yourself to be someone you are not … and you have us — Your Friends — who accept you the way you are even we don’t see or talk to each other all the time.
I learned this from you
LOVE YOU ❤
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love you more ❤
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Wow thank you for being so brave, and opening up.
My husband is an introvert too and I see him struggle with some of the same things, and the anxiety that comes with “trying to fit in”. I am so sorry for such a difficult time, but looking at the comments it seems like you have some great and supportive friends!
I hope you find the balance and that you find more and more happiness every day!
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thank you for your kind comment ❤
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[…] 2019 which is “Comfort is the enemy of progress” I want to better myself instead of staying in my comfort zone, I’ve been in a positive mental state lately and it’s probably one of the reasons that […]
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Great post, this resonates with me more than I can express.
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thank you, i’m glad you liked it!
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Loves your post I’d be delighted if you check out mine on a similar topic-
http://www.himanaya.com
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I’m glad you do ! I’ll be checking out your blog
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