Venting

It’s been a while since I ranted on my blog, I kinda consider it therapeutic since I’m outlining whatever in my mind. I know I’ve been disappearing from my blog lately and I promise I’ll post an explanation for that in the upcoming posts, but anyway tell me how you been ?

In the past year I’ve been frustrated and bottling this up, I just had to write it here and I really want to know what you think about it. Before I got married, I had a really petite body. To be honest you can clearly see my bones sticking out so it wasn’t that model-like sexy body, I looked really unhealthy and some people thought I had an eating disorder. I weighed around 35kg by the time I entered college, I get sick easily and I remember getting pain on my ankles from time to time which turned out because of calcium deficiency. Back then I didn’t think it was a big deal and people got used to seeing me like this.

After I got married and then getting pregnant, obviously I’ve gained weight throughout my pregnancy and after birth I managed to return my body to a better state and my weight was around 55kg which is according to my IBM rate perfect weight for my height. I looked better and more healthy, at least my bones weren’t showing and I won’t say I had a flat stomach looking all perfect but I was normal and better than my old skinny figure.

Family members and coworkers didn’t see this as a good change, and I’ve been hearing a lot of comments that basically says “You’re fat now” or asking “are you pregnant?”. I heard these words so many times it began to effect me, obviously it hurts hearing those words. I may not look like I was before but compared to my past self, I am much healthier and that what mostly mattered to me. I don’t know if that’s just society standards of how a female should look and if she changed all the sudden she’s considered fat, maybe she’s comfortable in her own skin but you’re labeling her because of her body shape changing?

I’ve been frustrated regarding this so much, it began irritating me how people I have conversations with all sudden inserting this remark within context. I don’t really appreciate it and it honestly made me less social than before. I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive over something silly, I just wanted to vent this out and wanted to know what do you think about this.

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10 thoughts on “Venting

  1. 55 kg is not a lot! and 35 will be considered unhealthy almost no matter how short or tall you are.. as long as you feel healthy it shouldn’t matter.. society is really fucked up now because nothing is ever good enough.. you’re either too fat, too skinny, never just right.

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