Sleepless Nights

Sleeping … It’s a human activity I said goodbye to on the day I gave birth. I love being a mother, I honestly feel like I found my purpose in life when I look into my son’s eyes. At some point my son was sleeping perfectly throughout the night but sometimes wakes up and it wasn’t tiring for me because he sleeps fast when hug him and return him to his crib.

Lately he’s been waking up at 3 or 4 am and doesn’t sleep unless he’s on my arms, if I returned him to his bed he’ll wake up and cry till I hold him again. At some nights I would get too exhausted and make him sleep next to me, between me and my husband but it wouldn’t be comfortable with me so I would stay awake till it’s time to go to work. For two weeks I’ve been sleep deprived and always tired, I would sleep in the afternoon if I found someone to babysit my son.

Me and husband decided to break the sleep time rule and keep him awake till he’s tired and wants to sleep, and from there start teaching him to sleep on his own in his crib. It made me sad I’m not going to lie, I like hugging him to sleep.

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By night, I would let him watch few of his favorite shows till he tells me it’s sleep time and points at his milk bottle. In the first night, he was very upset that I left him in his crib to drink the bottle alone and not me holding him as usual. I had to come near him few times to show him I’m still here and I didn’t leave him. Now comes the hard part, trying to get him to sleep on his own. He cried and tried to hold me to get him off his crib, repeating my actual name. It was nerve-wrecking and I really wanted to cry with him, it was very hard hearing him cry that much and calling for me. Finally after an hour of trying, he slept but woke up at 4 am and wouldn’t return to sleep in his crib so I said I’ll let him sleep next to me because I felt he just wanted to be with me and obviously it’ll take time to teach him to sleep on his own.

The second night he was more understanding when I left him in his crib with his bottle, of course he took time to sleep on his own but didn’t cry as much as before. He slept throughout the night which is a great progress and I finally got my deserved sleeping hours. By the third and forth night, he was fine sleeping on his own and didn’t require me to be in the room with him anymore.

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This whole thing was mentally exhausting to me, he’s growing up too fast and it’s making me emotional.

Next step is potty training and it will definitely take a while …

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