rant

Being Nice ≠ Being Flirty

Couple of months ago I posted about me being too nice and mentioned some coworker who’s getting too comfortable with me and getting close and I wasn’t really comfortable with that. I decided write a follow-up about it and turn this post to a rant because it’s been bothering me for quite awhile.

In the post I mentioned earlier, this coworker has literally crossed all the lines I’m trying to keep between us and basically started flirting, and I could honestly say it’s all my fault since I’m too nice and I hate being mean. I could post some screenshots of the things he keeps sending to me on Instagram direct messages but they are all in Arabic, he moved his title from being just a coworker to complete creepy stalker because he sent to me a message when I was leaving work which I can translate to “Hey gorgeous, I see you are leaving late today” I didn’t see him at all and it made me really uncomfortable like he’s stalking me and these messages were increasing, I started ignoring them but he just won’t stop. He even messaged me saying “Why did you get married ? You look so young and I was really surprised when you mentioned your husband and even got a son” I can assume he got fed up from how I keep pushing him away and dropping hints about my husband when he really wants to flirt with me thinking I’m approachable because I seem lonely since my husband travels a lot. I was thinking to even post a picture of me and my husband holding hands or something with a romantic caption just to show him back off I love my husband. I didn’t want to be mean but I sent him a message to stop sending me flirty messages because I’m married and I’m really uncomfortable with this, he said sorry but I really wanted to block him. The problem is, I see his face at work and he calls my work phone several times and I ignore.

So here’s my little rant about this because for some reason this dude isn’t the first one who thinks it’s okay to approach a girl just because she’s nice and replied to his messages. I hate being a feminist about all this but seriously it’s not okay to assume she’s into you just because she replied/smiled/laughed/exchanged phone numbers/commented on anything on your social media/listened to your problems. It’s not acceptable also to think we are being flirty because of that, if you are comfortable talking to that person it’s fine but don’t cross the lines that person put completely obvious to you. Think of it this way, would you like it if you saw these messages on your partner’s phone ? It’ll go down in two ways, either you’ll think your partner is cheating on you or you’ll get furious from this creepy stalker who’s harassing her while she’s politely saying “F#$% off”

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4 thoughts on “Being Nice ≠ Being Flirty

  1. I totally understand where you are coming from. These guys don’t get the hint. As long as you acknowledge them and being nice to them, they will keep trying. They don’t care if you are married.
    I hope you can talk to your boss about the situation with this guy. That’s not a good environment to work in if he is harassing you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wouldn’t say you act like a feminist just because you want someone to respect that you’re not interested in them in that way. I hope he can finally take a hint one day and leave you alone though, i know i would hate to be in your situation.

    Liked by 1 person

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