motherhood

Things I Wish I Can Tell My Mom

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I recently came across a spoken word poetry by Sabrina Benaim called Explaining My Depression to My Mother and it inspired me to write this post. It’s hard confessing feelings and emotions to someone close but in my case … My mother. I don’t want to be like my mom, I’m not her and I’m not planning to be. I want to be different, I don’t want to raise my children same way I was raised. It sounds bad as I’m typing this but I don’t agree with some parenting ways my mother used on me and my siblings, and that’s okay because I don’t think we are wired to grow up exactly like our parents.

Mom doesn’t believe in depression and anxiety, or most of the mental health issues. She believes its related to religion, if you are close to god then you won’t be depressed and I don’t agree with that. I don’t blame her, I mean they’ve been raised this way and their era has been nurturing such closed mind mentality. When I was going through postpartum depression, I didn’t talk about it with my family but more with my friends who has same mentality as me and understands these struggles.

I want to be as understanding as I wished my mother to be. I had a long super dark hair till I reached college because my mother didn’t allow me to dye or cut it, let alone just a small trim. I hated it because it was really hard to maintain, it was so long that it reached under my butt. I started trimming it on my own without telling her obviously but I did get caught few times until one day I chopped off all of my hair, and she gave me a look I’ll never forget, like she’s disappointed in me and it made me feel horrible. It didn’t really last long as I tried to make her understand that it’s who I am, I don’t like having dark long hair. She still gives me those looks whenever I dye my hair and repeats about how my hair was so beautiful and long, now it’s ruined and it’s too damaged.

God Knows how much I love my mother and I know I can’t live without her but I don’t want to be like her, I am who I am.

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Stories

The Time I Created a Game

In the previous post, I mentioned that I want to return to developing games because recently I’ve been getting requests to finish a certain game and I honestly didn’t think it would have that amount of attention so let’s talk about The Game.

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I started making this game as a joke and to vent my frustration from college so I’m ashamed to say it had so much vulgar language that I wouldn’t want my children to find it. I created it for me and my friends, and added them as characters in the game and used our actual conversations as dialogues in it.

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So the main character Yuki was born from a weird conversation I had with my friend Sue and we thought why not use her in a game. We were brainstorming how Yuki should look like and we ended up choosing this chibi design.

The NPCs were regular Omani characters wearing abayas or dishdasha (Omani costumes) and the dialogues were a bit of stereotyping and I might get in trouble for it.

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I hated this teacher so much for everything he made me go through and I had to make him in the game, I feel bad now that I’m older and seen these dialogues but I actually had so much fun creating this game.

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My friends enjoyed it because of all the inside jokes and how I created the chibi form of them based on how they actually look.

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So the game screenshots somehow ended up outside our friends group and I started getting tweets from people asking me about it and it was overwhelming because they were actually enjoying it, and asking me if I’ll continue making it.

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It feels nice going back to this game, it made me feel nostalgic and sort of miss college days … a little bit. When I ran this game earlier, it made me want to return to developing games as I mentioned in the previous post and I’m planning to do that.

Have a great day dear readers.

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life

Goals

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I originally wanted to post it as habits I want to catch on but I saw Lise’s post about August Goals and thought I would do the same but more of a long term goal instead of monthly so here it goes …

Return to developing games. I wanted to post about this before, so I used to love creating games, mostly for fun but I enjoyed the thrill of it. It made my imagination run wild of how the story flow and setting the environment of the game, I loved messing with the scripts because it gave me the opportunity to learn new programming languages and understand the work of gaming engines. I really want to go back in developing games and bettering my programming skills.

Use moisturizing creams and lotions more often. I have a bad habit of neglecting my skin health and it shows that my skin seem too dry. I need to change that and get used to applying creams and lotions so that my skin seem less dry at least not just my face.

Cut out soda drinks. I buy snacks from time to time that I munch on when I’m watching something at night and I always go for soft drinks, I fill up the fridge with such drinks and it’s definitely not healthy. I need to exchange those drinks to fruity drinks perhaps or something more organic.

Crossing my fingers I can achieve those goals soon, what are your long term goals ?

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diary

The Happiness Tag

I don’t know why I got all smiley when I read the word Happiness, well I hope it does the same to you. I’ve been tagged by the Lise to do this posts, be sure to check out her blog because she posts some really awesome stuff regularly.

The rules for this tag

  • List five things that makes you happy
  • Share five songs that makes you happy
  • Tag at least five bloggers that makes you happy

Things that makes me happy

    1. My family. I know it’s not exactly a creative answer but my son and husband are my true happiness, I can’t imagine my life without them.
    2. Music. Music always have some effect on me, I connect certain songs to memories so whenever I listen to the song, I remember what happened.
    3. Gaming. I’ve been a gamer as long as I can remember, games makes me happy and also relaxed (specially Harvest Moon)
    4. Writing. Writing always helped me vent my thoughts either through posting here or my poetry blog, It makes me happy because I can express myself easily through words.
    5. Books. I love reading, always been since I was a kid but I drifted from that after college because of having a busy life, I got married and then have a child I didn’t have time as before that’s why I subscribed to OwlCrate.

Songs that makes me happy

I normally don’t choose songs that makes me happy for the lyrics so the songs I chose based on how the make me smile or dance in the car when I listen to them.

Bloggers that makes me happy:

I know some of them already did this tag but … you make me happy so I got to list you again 😃

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subscription boxes

MerLady Box – Save The Mermaids

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I was confused when I received a notification from Aramex that I got a package from MerLady Box because I remember getting an email saying that my subscription got cancelled. Later on, I checked my emails and saw that I was charged for July’s box but I didn’t get an update and I forgot about it. I think they were trying to release the new subscription box Jewels of The Sea and it messed up the original box subscriptions. Anyway the contents of this box made me reactivate my subscription to MerLady Box, July’s theme is “Save the Mermaids” and apparently the majority of the materials used to create the products and packaging in this box are recycled. Also I should mention, the products came in a pouch packaging not the usual box.

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Aluminum Water Bottle #SaveTheMermaids

The info card that came in the pouch didn’t really specify by who or from where so I’m going to assume this bottle is by MerLady but not added to the shop yet. I’ve been thinking about going back to the gym recently so this bottle came in the perfect time, I can show off my love for mermaids.

Mermaid Popsocket

For a while now, I was considering getting a popsocket not because I like taking selfies, but because my phone slaps my face whenever I use it while laying down. I love the design on this popsocket and it fits comfortably with my fingers, it’ll take me a while to get used to it though.

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Mermaid Tail Earrings

Another item I’ll assume is from MerLady, these earrings are so pretty with the cute mermaid tail design. They are quite light and the colors on the tails are very vibrant and beautiful.

Rearview Mirror Charm

This is so gorgeous, I instantly fell in love with this charm. It has a dream catcher web and a pretty mermaid charm, along with ocean colored gems. Definitely my favorite item from this box.

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Mermaid Anklet

The last item is a lovely anklet but I want to say that I didn’t like the mermaid charm hanging on it because it’s a bit too big but I like the crystal though.

Overall, I LOVE MERLADY BOX… Isn’t it obvious? The items they sent out for July’s theme definitely fits the theme which raises recycling awareness and saving mermaids, they listed ocean conservation companies in the info card so you can visit their websites and support them if you are interested.

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diary

300 Followers – Get to Know me … More

I never thought I’d get 10 followers, now it’s 300 and I’m just overwhelmed. Thank you so much for your lovely comments, having the time to read my pointless blog and pressing the follow button.

When I reached 100 followers, I did a Get to Know me tag and I wanted to do something similar so I found one with new questions.

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  1. Are you named after anyone?
    Nope, my name is rather unique and I like that.
  2. When was the last time you cried?
    Before I answer this let me just say, I easily cry over anything whether it’s sad or happy. Now we got that out of the way, I cried recently because I was looking at my son’s old photos and realize how fast he’s grown, time really flies.
  3. Do you have kids?
    Yup, one munchkin
  4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
    I’d like to think I’m a fun person and easy going so yeah I would be a friend to myself.
  5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
    To the point where people can’t tell the difference if I’m serious or joking.
  6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
    Eyes, you can tell a lot from the look of their eyes.
  7. What is your eye color?
    Dark brown
  8. Scary movie or happy endings?
    Happy endings, I’m a sucker for Disney movies.
  9. Favorite smells?
    Flowers, I guess
  10. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?
    Well I lived in Jordan for 4 years if that counts
  11. Do you have any special talents?
    People tend to get too comfortable with me that they open up too fast, I considered it a curse before but I’d like to think it’s a special talent if I can help someone with it.
  12. Where were you born?
    In a Police hospital … Parents’ jobs privileges
  13. What are your hobbies?
    Reading, writing and gaming.
  14. Do you have any pets?
    I wish =<
  15. Do you have any siblings?
    We are 6 girls and one boy … I know my family is too big.
  16. How tall are you?
    I’m actually quite short, 152 cm
  17. Funniest moment throughout School?
    Me and my friend deciding to sit like L from Death Note throughout the whole day, and that failed miserably because our legs got numb by the 4th period.
  18. How many countries have you visited?
    – UAE
    – Jordan
    – KSA
    – Bahrain
    – Indonesia
    – Malaysia
    – Singapore
    – UK
  19. What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?
    English was my favorite and Social Studies was my worst, I hated it with passion.
  20. What is your Favorite drink? Animal? Perfume?
    Dr Pepper is my favorite drink. I’m a cat person and my all time favorite perfume is Signature Jade from Paris Gallery
  21. What would you (or have you) name your children?
    I’ve always wanted to name my daughter Miral, hopefully my second child would be a girl so I would get to name her that.
  22. Who are some of your favorite YouTubers?
    – PewDiePie
    – JackSepticEye
    – Markiplier
    CutiePie Marzia
    – Emma Blackery
  23. How would you describe your fashion sense?
    I love over-sized tops and leggings, I don’t know what label that will get me
  24. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)
    Android, Google Pixel and I love it ❤

And that’s it, I did delete few questions because I didn’t know how to answer them but I hope you enjoyed anyway. Thank you for reading this post and have a nice day.

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subscription boxes

OwlCrate – Wanderlust

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I miss having many subscription boxes delivered to me, it felt like getting presents … That I pay for? Anyway I got OwlCrate recently and finally had the time to write this post, July’s theme was “Wanderlust”

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Art Print by Shailey Ann Designs

Lovely print, I love the map background and quote on it.

Owl Bag Tag by Mudpuppy

This is just too adorable, I love Owl designs. It’s too brightly colorful and well-stitched, I gave it to my sister since school is starting soon.

Newt Scamander Keychain from Funko Pop

I’m a Funko Pop collecter, not going to lie. I’m also a fan of Fantastic Beasts so I was really happy to see this in the box and I instantly used it for my car keys.

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SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE >.<

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Lord of The Rings Backbag

I assume this is an exclusive item because it’s not mentioned from whom or by who, it’s a really nice backbag as I’m a fan of Lord of The Rings. I love the quote written on it as well, it’s good enough to be a gym bag or going to the beach.

A Darker Shade of Magic inspired Mirror by Miss Phi

This is such a pretty mirror. It’s always good to keep such mirrors in your bag, I know I keep telling myself that so I would stop using Snapchat camera as my mirror when I need to.

Pocket Journal from Ooly

I love pocket journals, I feel they aren’t used as before since everyone depends on their phones more. This one is small enough to be kept in your bag, and has a nice design as it’s one of 8 designs sent out in the boxes so yours may vary.

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As usual the book comes with a letter from the author as well as the signed bookplate, the letter is more colorful than the previous ones.

And finally book of the month …

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

A young bisexual British lord embarks on an unforgettable Grand Tour of Europe with his best friend/secret crush. An 18th-century romantic adventure for the modern age written by This Monstrous Thing author Mackenzi Lee—Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets the 1700s.

Henry “Monty” Montague doesn’t care that his roguish passions are far from suitable for the gentleman he was born to be. But as Monty embarks on his grand tour of Europe, his quests for pleasure and vice are in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

So Monty vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.

It sounds like a fun summer read, I think this is the second time OwlCrate sends a book with a bisexual storyline. I can’t wait to read it since I’m always been interested in the 18th Century era, reading the roadtrip part in the summary gives it a little modern twist perhaps. I could be wrong but I’m reading it anyway.

Overall, I love how the items in this box give a summery vibe and more of a travelling related items. It makes me feel bad because I’m not exactly going anywhere this summer and I hate seeing my Snapchat nowadays since everyone is somewhere in Europe or Asia. Hopefully I’ll travel somewhere if I got the chance to do so.

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